The Perks of Being Single on Campus On Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is almost here. For many, that means buying a new dress, making reservations at a fancy restaurant, or planning heart themed decorations. But what happens when you’re a single college gal or guy on Valentine’s Day? The answer is: FUN! Valentine’s Day isn’t just for those with a romantic partner to share it with. In fact, you can take back this holiday for your own regardless of your relationship status. Here’s just 10 of the perks of being single on campus on Valentine’s Day.

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  1. Save Money

$100 for dinner? $20 for chocolate? $40 for a stuffed bear that will end up under a bed or stuffed in a closet? No way! Your best option as a single on Valentine’s Day is to save your cash for much more affordable (and tasty) takeout and dessert.

 

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  1. Treat Yo Self

Valentine’s Day can start a totally new tradition: a treat yo’ self tradition! Spend the day focusing on yourself rather than someone else. Take yourself out to a favorite action movie you’ve been dying to see or buy yourself a new outfit just because you can. No guilt on treat yo’ self days!

  1. Meet Someone New

If you’re looking, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to get set up. Many college campuses host singles events where you can meet your match. If not, ask your friends if they know of someone willing to go on a post-Valentine’s Day date. With love on their mind, they may know just the right person for you.

  1. No Expectations

While it may seem like a dream day, there’s a good chance that your roommate or BFF will return from their Valentine’s Day with a complaint that he didn’t do this or she didn’t do that. It’s because couples notoriously go over the top for the holiday leading to high expectations and broken hearts. You, however, get to avoid this awkward mess!

 

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  1. More Chocolate For You

Our favorite part of Valentine’s Day is, hands down, the treats! If you know a friend who loves to bake, ask them to save you a cupcake. Or, head to your cafeteria where they may be doing a themed dinner based around your favorite sweet treats.

  1. Practice Self-Love

Valentine’s Day is not just for celebrating a boyfriend or girlfriend, but also for loving yourself. As a single, write yourself a love letter outlining all your best qualities. Make a dream board that highlights how far you’ve come and where you’re going. At the end of the night, you’ll find yourself even more in love with you.

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  1. After Valentine’s Day Sale

Yes, we already talked about chocolate and treats, but it’s worth mentioning twice. Here’s a hint: while the rest of the world is sleeping in post-Valentine’s Day, head out on the 15th to your favorite candy store and stock up on candy hearts and chocolate boxes. They usually go on clearance post holiday!

  1. No One to Impress

Shaving legs, putting on makeup, getting dressed in a suit? Yuck! With no one to impress on Valentine’s Day, declare it a comfy clothing only day and rock the PJ pants and pull-over sweatshirts. Your couple friends will certainly be jealous of your relaxing, easy-going Valentine’s Day plans.

 

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10 Questions to Ask Before Breaking (or Making) Up

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After dealing with the stress of a long holiday break away (or even together), it’s normal to spend the late winter months reevaluating a relationship. Sometimes, it’s best to take some time to consider your campus relationship. As Valentine’s Day approaches, hit the pause button and evaluate whether you should break up or make up with these ten tips.

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  1. Do I spend more time happy or sad?

Here’s a test you can do in one day. Head out to a museum, event, or just a day spent alone together. In your head (or even on a phone or paper), try to remember the times you felt negatively towards the person. Did it take up the entire day, and more importantly, are these normal feelings you have when you spend time with them?

  1. Is my life consumed by this person?

Though your college relationship is meaningful, it can also be draining and stressful. If you never get time to do things solo, it might be time to break the chain.

 

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  1. Does this person support my dreams?

You went to college to pursue a passion or a career. If your partner discourages you from attending events or clubs that interest you, consider it a sign.

  1. Do I have time for this person?

If you spend all your time apart, you can’t give them the attention they deserve. Try to find a schedule that works for you. If you’re unwilling to compromise, your decision is already made.

  1. How do my friends feel about him/her?

Sometimes, friends see your situation more clearly than you. Talk to your friends and have an honest discussion. Beware of airing too much dirty laundry, though. This can cause them to take your side too easily.

 

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  1. Have I done all that I can to make things better?

Have you tried listening to their wants and needs? When you fight, do you hear them or are you just screaming over them to get a word in? Before breaking up, sit down and listen to them tell you what they need to make this work without interrupting or getting defensive. It’s tough but so worth it.

  1. What would I tell my friend if he/she were in my shoes?

Write down your complaints in a journal and then read them back to yourself. What would you say to the person on the other side? Flipping the perspective can be very revealing.

 

  1. Have they crossed a line?

We all go into relationships knowing what would be big red flags. From cheating to dishonesty, lines are usually drawn before that first date. Think back to you pre-relationship and consider if they went over that point. If they are still in the gray area, there may be time to make up.

 

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  1. Is this enough for me?

Letting go of a long-term relationship can be scary. There are a whole ton of unknowns! But what’s really important is to think of your future. Would you be satisfied if this person was the one you spent the rest of your life with? Or do you spend your nights wondering if there might be someone better out there for you? Whichever question seems more applicable to your relationship should give you a good answer about whether this relationship really has long-term potential.

  1. What would happen if I forgave them?

When deciding if you should make up or break up, one of the most essential questions you have to ask is what happens next. Let’s say you stay, what would the next day look like? Would you be happy with their apology or would you be accepting it because you felt like you had to? The answer could be your make-up or break-up decision.

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Long Distance Relationships: Stay Connected!

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Doing the Long Distance Relationship Thing Successfully

Don’t be fooled: they’re not easy and, like a new Spanish professor, they take time to understand. But, ultimately, a long distance relationship is rewarding. If you truly care for the one you’re away from (which apparently you do, since you’re in such a relationship) then it shouldn’t be hard to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel… whether that means getting together in the summertime, over winter or spring break, or for the coming weekend.

Like me, I’m sure you’ve heard these pieces of dating advice before:

1) If it’s really meant to be, it’ll work out,

2) Don’t worry, every relationship has its ups and downs, and

3) Do whatever makes you happy.

Good advice, all. But there’s just one thing wrong with these generalities: they don’t really mean anything.

What you need is some solid, tangible advice to put into action; some real tips for making your relationship as smooth, loving and trusting as possible… because that, my friends, is the key. Below are a few ways to really show your boyfriend/girlfriend that they matter.

Communication

If you can’t be honest with each other, then what else is there? I’ll tell you, the weather. That’s it. And that sucks. (S)He doesn’t have to know every minute detail of your waking campus life, but it should be easy to share thoughts, ideas, compliments, frustrations and day to day observations with him/her. Chances are, if you’re holding back on these little things, you’re holding back on much more important things, as well. Here are some really easy ways to keep the lines of communication open:

  • Call. Whether you’re saying goodnight, calling just to say hello or to freak out about straight up acing that final exam, it’s always good to hear your reassuring gf/bf’s voice.
  • Leave voicemails. It’s so easy to hang up just as the automatic greeting comes on, but take those few extra seconds and leave a message. Instead of saying, “hey,  just calling to see what’s up” say something like, “just walked by [insert campus object here] and thought of you. Give me a call back when you get a chance because, well, you’re pretty and you rule.”
  • Send ‘Good Morning’ Texts. When you wake up, send her a good morning text message with some adoration and encouragement for the day ahead. It doesn’t have to be a long, complex love letter, just show her that she’s on your mind.
  • FaceTime. Today, most smartphones have video calling features. This is a game changer for long distance relationships. You can actually see the person you love right there in front of you!
  • Send a Letter or Package. This is super old-school, but a letter could be just what she needs to remind her how much you care. After all, hand written letters are more exciting to receive and feel more personal than an email or text message. Similarly, if (s)he’s really stressed over exams, send her/him an OCM care package with a note for some much needed encouragement.

Freedom

Communication is vital and so is respecting each other’s individuality. This is paramount to any relationship, but especially when it’s long distance. You’ll make your friends, she’ll make her friends, he’ll make his friends and so on. It’s human nature to connect. This is especially true freshman year when everyone is meeting each other for the first time. Don’t spend hours and hours in your room on the phone or crafting an immense email while your friends are out bonding and having a good time. Experience your new environment; don’t worry, you’ll have each other at the end of the day!

Visits

If you’re both from the same hometown and both heading home for break, visits are especially easy. You’ll be hanging out and doing fun things together until the cows come home, or until you have to head back. Bask in this time together; these moments will be great to think about when you’re separated again.

On the other hand, you may go to different schools and live in far-away cities, states or regions (I offer my sympathies to you brave souls). If this is the case, you can easily and affordably plan a trip to meet up over winter, spring or summer break. Whether you decide on a home visit or an adventure, sites like Student Universe and STA Travel make it easy to find student deals on flights, hotels and more.

And if you’re lucky enough to go schools that aren’t too far apart, hop on a Megabus or local train, and make a weekend trip. I promise you it’s worth it.

This is by no means a definitive guide to maintaining a sane, healthy long-distance college relationship. Every relationship is different, and those with 100+ miles between will especially encounter their own twists and turns but no matter what, all relationships take work. However, if you put in the time and effort, it will show and your relationship will thrive; your time apart will fly by; the moments you spend together will make the long phone calls, bus fares and lonely nights worth it.